Not the Breaking The Habit you were looking for, eh? Admittedly I used to be a big fan of Linkin Park and of this song in particular, but now they don't really appeal to me anymore. Can we spare a moment to praise Insomnium's Shadow Of The Dying Sun please? My very loved songs are The Primeval Dark and While We Sleep. Now back to the topic, shall we?

I used to slap on any kind of foundation / tinted moisturizer (which I think is pretty much useless) / BB cream / powder without consideration. By consideration I mean whether they suit my skintone or skin type. I also used to be so obsessed with BB cream and my favourite was the Clio one (a Korean brand) that gave a very smooth and natural finish, yet really pink for my yellow skintone and had absolutely no power in the oil control department. Looking back I clearly had the much abhorred cake-face since I was obsessed with Revlon Colorstay foundation. Many declare it to be holy grail but I just find it so thick and heavy on.

Now I choose carefully before applying, and use much less product than before. Instead of slapping on tonnes of foundation and powder, I now use a very small amount (a pump or two for my whole face) to create an even base then use concealer to cover any blemishes / redness, wait for it to fully set then dust a light layer of mattifying powder to keep everything in place. The result is much more natural and healthy, not to mention too much products on the face are only a recipe for disaster (aka. the grease ball I never hope to encounter).

The Hit List: Barry M Matte Oil Free Foundation (in Nude) and Makeup Academy Matte Perfect Loose Translucent Powder

Colours all the way! My first palette was the Covergirl Tropical Fusion quad which includes a blue, a green, an orange and a yellow. Talk about wearbility, ha, not to mention I did not use any transition colours (oh the horror!). I did not use any base either, which can explain why my eyeshadow just slided off my lids.

Now I most often use a primer, then sometimes a long-lasting cream eyeshadow and then shadows. I now also understand the power of neutrals: they just go with everything!

The Hit List: Too Faced Eyeshadow Insurance, Maybelline Bad To The Bronze and Too Faced Chocolate Bar / theBalm Smoke Balm (review).

How did I go on with my life all those years without a good exfoliator? I cannot understand how, and how I had such confidence to put all kind of lip colours on my flaky and chapped lips. I am glad that I've gone past that phase: I always wash my face, then use a damp towel to gently get rid of all the dead skin, then dry my lips and put on a little of lipbalm to keep my skin hydrated.

The Hit List: Rosebud Perfume Co. Rosebud Salve.

The Makeup Academy Romantic Efflorescence is one of their newest palettes, which came out by the end of November last year I think, that is quite perfect for winter. It includes various brown and plum tones that are supposed to create "romantic" wintery looks for a mere £4.00. This is the very first time that I'm so fond of their promotional photograph: just look at this girl! She's pretty much perfect, however I wish they opted for a more berry-toned lip color, then that would certainly capture the winter spirit. I could do not much else than ordering this beauty to find out if it really lives up to my rather high hopes.

From left to right, top to bottom we have 12 shades in total:

I like the balance between shimmery and matte shades in this palette, 6-6 to be exact. The palette itself looks pretty and sophisticated with all white quite durable plastic and silver label; also MUA recently comes up with specific names for each shades in their new offerings that makes it much easier to determine which shade is which for people who like to Google swatches and reviews before purchasing something (like me!).  However, I must say the pigmentation across the board is rather disappointing: most of them lack pigmentation, powdery, tend to sheer out and create quite a shower of fall out under the eyes except for Fiery (the copper gold). I couldn't bring myself to swatch them on my arm since I found it best to use a small brush to pack and build up pigmentation rather than swiping the shades in. I feel like they added a little too much filler to the powder rather than pigment unlike their Undressed and Heaven And Earth palettes (my personal neutral-toned favourite palettes from MUA). The shade I had the highest hope for was Tempt – which looks exciting in the pan – lacks majorly in the pigmentation department.
If you prefer your eyeshadows to be in the softer, less pronounced side then these colours are great for you since they blend quite nicely; but if you're like me that want them to pop, then a base is a must. I used Too Faced Eyeshadow Insurance first, then a light layer of Maybelline Color Tattoo in Bad To The Bronze as a base before applying these colors. The end result was pleasing, but not enough for me to praise for this particular palette. If you're after plums, purples and golds then a rather affordable yet excellent alternative is the Sleek i-Divine Vintage Romance.

Do I really need another shimmery bronzer? So, I already have like 3 shimmery bronzers in my makeup drawer yearning to be used but I just don't really feel them. For me, a great way to give dimension to my face is to use a contour powder (again, Illamasqua Powder Foundation in 230 is my product of choice since it's soft, blendable and has a slight gray tint to it which gives a very realistic look to the hollow of the cheeks) then a blush and highlighter. Sometimes I use a matte bronzer in conjunction with the contouring powder to warm my face up in case I use more gold/bronze tones on my eyelids, but shimmery bronzers?

Well, the answer to the question in the post title is always YES. I just can't help getting and trying out new products, especially since it has such beautiful marbleized finish. The Makeup Academy Undressed Baked Bronzer is one of the products that I simply cannot ignore, especially since it's only £3.00 for 10g of product. Talk about a bargain! But is it really worth trying out? 

Upon swirling my finger on the surface of the product it's soft and finely milled, hence when using a fluffy brush it may create quite a cloud of loose product but it's ok for me since I hate baked products that are almost impossible to pick up a fair amount to use. The best example I can give is the Bourjois Little Round Pot Blush in Lune d'Or which I have to use a sharp object to scrap the surface off into loose powder before using. This bronzer contains three distinct colors: a satin-slightly shimmery (without any obvious shimmer particles) peachy bronze, a chunkier shimmery golden bronze and a smooth shimmery white. Since the veining is too little the only way to use it is to swirl all colors together to reveal a soft shimmer peachy bronze. 

I like using this right above the contour shade as a blusher/bronzer hybrid to warm up and give a hint of summer glow to my face. I'd recommend using this on the cheeks and probably on the eyelids only since if used on the forehead and the perimeter of the face it may look too shimmery and artificial. Overall, fantastic product. I really like the white packaging too, it looks lovely and substantial enough to fight with everything else in my makeup bag.

In case you're wondering how to contour/bronze I do find this instruction quite helpful.

• Combust/Charbonneux: a super shimmery champagne that leans towards yellow. The color payoff is similar to Mary-lou Manizer but more powdery and yellow.
• Glow/Rayonnant: a gray-toned medium brown, super smooth to the touch yet powdery and kicks off a lot of product if picked up by a fluffy brush. On the bright side, it blends seamlessly onto the skin and can be easily built up.
• Kindle/S'embraser: another gray-toned deep forest green with light-medium shimmer level, smooth and easy to use.

Well, welcome wasps I miss you (Mr. Jeffery Deaver I adore you "The Empty Chair" book and its cover that features this lovely creature; though I got shiver down my spine every now and then reading the narration). As reading Musings of a Muse I stumbled upon this post and though it would be a nice idea, or at least to keep my mind of things a bit. Not exactly since now I have to rearrange my thoughts to decide the answer to each of the 7 sins/questions below. No ragrets!

Greed: What’s your most expensive beauty item?

I don't own one that is utterly ridiculously cringe-worthy beauty item but if I have to choose one that would be luxury scented candles (Diptyque, Eve Lom etc). Nobody got time fo dat, unless you're another Prince Regent who spent most of his fortune (if any) on socks.

Wrath: What item do you have a love/hate relationship with?

Base products. As soon as I put foundation and then powder on, my skin looks flaaaawless but then within 2 hours it becomes a hot mess. I've tried so many different bases and powders, high-end or low-end, pressed or loose, mattifying or normal, the end result is pretty much the same.

Gluttony: What brand takes up most of your collection?

My collection is quite diverse, but I think I have many Makeup Academy MUA products since I ordered loads during their massive sales almost 2 years ago.

Sloth: What product do you neglect the most due to laziness?

Never ever body lotion, and most of the time hand lotion/cream. I don't know, I just don't like spending ages smoothing lotion onto my body, it reminds me too much of Silence Of The Lambs "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.". Ugh! Also, fresh out of the shower the skin is usually still moist so the lotion doesn't absorb right away, it takes a lot of time not to mention the messy white film it appears to be before completely soaks into the skin. Not a good look, and it's rather weird rubbing some artificial substance onto your naked body. Ugh! again. (my apology if I disgusted you with my "passion").

Pride: What product gives you the most confidence?

Good eyebrows all the way! I spend time to fill in my brows every morning before going to work, they really frame my face and make me feel much better since I'm too conscious about them being complete uneven and of odd shapes.

Lust: Which item is top of your beauty wish list?

Clinique Cheek Pop blusher in Plum Pop, yuuum... and then the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush palette.

Envy: Which makeup product/look is great on others but not on you?

I'm not so sure since I experiment with almost everything and I wear my makeup how I see fit without caring about what people may think. Rebel heart.

However I don't really think that bare eyes with only mascara and deep lips look nice on me, I prefer a bit of shading and smokiness on my eyelids. In other words, dual darkness, haha.

So these are my answers, which are subject to alteration at any unnoticed moment. Yes I wrote policies for my company's websites, that's why. Hope you're having a nice day and see you in my other posts - lots are coming soon!

1. [International] Shipping charges that cost a fortune. I'm looking at you Illamasqua, I will never ditch out £9.00 to deliver a lipgloss. You and so many others: Cherry Culture, Coastal Scent, Beauty Joint etc. On a more positive note, sometimes it is flat rate so if you can spend, say, a large amount of dough for their product, congratulations, otherwise not so much.
2. [Ridiculous idea of] International shipping aka America means North America & Canada, Australia, Europe means Britain, France, Germany and some bigger countries, Asia means China, Japan, Hongkong, Singapore. The country list may expand a bit but not too noticeable. That's not how any of this works!
3. This product cannot be delivered to your country. Like, seriously, how is it "dangerous" to ship a NARS Contouring  Blush duo to Vietnam? I would be delighted to listen to your reasonings, but what the hell?! What makes it worse is unlike canned products (i.e dry shampoos or other sprays) and nail varnishes (which I still wonder why) which I already know that can hardly be shipped by air, most websites don't disclose in their shipping policy so the only way to find out is that you put some Benefit Ultra Plush lipglosses and NARS in your cart, overly excited that you are having a bargain of your life, go to check out only to realise that you can never ever get this beauty. Let's spare a moment of silent for our brothers and sisters deep in disappointment and anger.
4. "Up to 70% off if you spend $1M" - well, not technically that much money but you know what I mean. The same with "Free standard shipping if you spend $xx". With all seriousness, how dare you put out such promotion when standard shipping should take around $10 considering how light makeup products generally are. The worst example I can think off is Sleek Makeup during their winter sale: spend $70 for free standard shipping while the shipment only costs $3 normally (!). And usually, that painfully eye-catching banner of such sale immediately grabs our attention, and to be honest, drives us madly into a shopping craze. However, most of the time, the products that have the biggest discount percents only are things / colours that nobody bothers to even look at, let alone purchase, and the number of choices is usually limited. The other things that we want have the teeniest tiniest percent of discount, but at the end of the day, they are still "up to" such enormous percent off. You're not wrong, you're just an a**hole (my years absorbing 9GAG jokes and thinking in memes finally pay off). 
5. Unclear policies, poor customer service and long shipping time. Enough said.

Whoever says this sentence has no idea how it feels to constantly have depressions.

One of the most ignored mental problems is depression, and it, however, sometimes is assumed only when one gets bored. Even though I am no expert, there's a noticeable difference: boredom goes away, depression does not. Having myself Borderline Disorder (which can be interpreted as suffering from constant emotional chaos and overreacting to everything to keep it simple), I go through the aforementioned phases on a daily basis: boredom is when something is no longer interesting, or you temporarily cannot quite catch what's the meaning of life (for example when you've just finished a series that you were so much into it and seemingly lost track of reality), but if you get something exciting enough to amuse with, all sorted. On the other hand, depression is when one does not know what to do, even what to feel, everything is meaningless and hurtful to them. They don't always appear to be sad, or distant, they even "are" cheerful and full of energy when put into society, but even when being surrounded by such crowd, or as soon as being alone, they silently draw back to their own solitude and emptiness. Such depression not only affects one's mental health, it also affects bodily healthiness due to constant lack is sleep and peace of mind. Bodily pains can be cured, mentally: not so easy.

I cannot emphasise enough the fact that you cannot ask someone who is depressed to stop being depressed, it is not that simple. It is a state of mental being that requires unaccountable amount of will and effort to live with, let alone get pass it. However, there's an undeniable fact (at least to me) that we (the depressed entity) want to be understood and sympathised, but we don't want to confess such craving, and we by no mean want to be taken pity on, or treated differently as if being sick or having "mental illness".

This gets us to the point of the same old cliché: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger (by the by, sorry Kelly Clarkson, I hate this particular song of yours). Yes, it might be correct to a fair number of people who are classified as being normal, the ones who are perfectly healthy both physically and mentally, who can control their feelings and go by reasons, though sometimes can be affected by temporary mental/emotional instability. A different fair amount of people find it hard to cope up with life's situations and changes, with all of its ups-and-downs. What kills them really kills them: it makes them doubtful of what's worth living for, say, a person who suddenly loses everything most if the time has a critical crisis of what to do with his life, and will most likely commit suicide. We, the others, are just the same. We seldom remember the ups, only the downs.

This whole seemingly serious subject makes me think of a beautiful song by Bad Pollyanna: Invincible Girl, which quite sums up what I want to say today:

What doesn't kill you makes you wonder if it's all the same

It's harder to love and so simple to hate

It doesn't scare me when the demons come out to play

I know their secrets, I know their pain.

and:

Now I'm the invincible girl, don't need you to save me from this world

For nothing can hurt the unbeatable girl

I'll stand by the bridges I have burned...

My advices would be: try to seek for professional assistance whenever possible, otherwise, try to accept the fact that you are different and find something to occupy your mind with: find a hobby, try something new, put yourself among positiveness. Little by little you will find it easier to cope up with contingencies and fickleness of mind. I am lucky enough to find peace in makeup: I have my wishlist and goals to achieve, whether it is to perfect the liner technique or just to save enough to afford a luxury makeup item, that keeps me going. The excitement of ordering new things, waiting for them to arrive and experimenting with them is my kind of positivity. I cannot say that I was saved, but to put it out there: I am partially converted.

We wish to be able to escape this cage of depression, but we simultaneously shamefully enjoy being trapped inside. Because in the end, we are just ourselves, and normal is not the norm, it's just a uniform.